A Care Giver's Diary 12/27/13
The Long Road Ahead
The journey begins the day you notice the slight changes in your loved ones behavior. Those changes though simple, will ultimately become your guide post as you begin and end this eventful and tiring journey.
How do you make sense of, and understand what to do as these changes occur?
Let us examine one change.
He or she suddenly becomes totally irritated and almost combative during bathroom times. I am sure that you may be thinking, how simply unbelievable that this behavior is coming from someone, who, all through out his or her life has been so clean and sophisticated.
Yes it is possible. This behavior stems from embarrassment and shame, from feeling violated, from the realization of the loss of ones ability to function in the most humanely private ways. It is shame and fear of loosing control of ones self worth, that I feel triggers the somewhat combative behavior during those Private times.
I examine this thought during various exercises that I have experienced with loved-ones, and clients. I usually answer questions like.
What are a you doing?
Who told you that you can do that?
Leave that alone, well I can do that, let me do it!
Please do not come in here, get out, I can do it myself.....and often times he or she may scream for help in the most desperate way, that the doctor may have to be summoned to advice on calming mechanisms.
It continues, then and there I wish that you could just say, that's Okay, go ahead I will wait for you here, but I can't.
I can't because my responsibility is to safety first, and also to establish creative interesting ways to get things done!
Andria Patricia Harris 12/27/13