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Authored by CEO, Andria P. Harris, our blog is also a very important way of letting you know how we feel about what we do. For more dialogue on living with Dementia and Alzheimer's, be sure to follow us on Facebook and Twitter.


From A Care Giver’s Diary

The Care Giver is also a Best Friend

A very good friend is so much like a brother, a sister, a husband, a wife or a close family member.

It is fair to say that the relationship that develops over the course of time between a client and his or her caregiver is that of a very good friend, an old friend.

 This relationship will have come about through trust, mutual respect and love, therefore, this special bond is so much more different from the love and respect that is shared between the family member and client. So, one might wonder, why does a client becomes so attached?

Why does a client show more favor?

Why does he or she clings, as if the caregiver is a family member.

I usually sum it up like this;

The good caregiver, to the client is like a very good childhood friend, one who only visits, who doesn’t often sleep over, unless it is necessary.

 The very good childhood, friend who knows all the dirty little secrets, and shares all the funny clumsy laughter

The very good childhood friend who listens to his or her wining and understands the pain, the fear, the embarrassment of not being able to, communicate clearly.

The very good childhood friend, the friend who understands the shame, and why he or she over time, loses control of private and public circumstances that relate to human social and private living.

The client understands that there is no need to feel afraid of losing that particular self-control, but instead is confident that his or her good friend usually handles each situation selflessly.

In all cases, the client loves and wishes to maintain his or her pride and self-worth that each family member has come to know and love over the years.

This is the memory that is normally wished, to be carried on, and not the uncomfortable intimate and private shameful circumstances.

Usually, to avoid embarrassment, the client prefers to cling to the very good childhood friend who knows and understands the complexities of what their fears and pains are, rather than to invite the loving family member in to that new experience.

Therefore, the client’s dignity is, wanting the relatives and families to remember them the way they were.

 

Andria Patricia Harris/Dementia Living LLC/08/03/2014